Monday, April 20, 2015

IFJM 2015 Day 20

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Mavis writes...April 20th, 2015  

I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream. - Vincent Van Gogh 

I don't like the way this day feels. I will never see C again, here, now, in this life. It is a terrible, aching realization.  Yet, there is such relief at not having to see her suffer, a relief from the exhaustion and the uncertainty and conflict about how to care for her. Evie, the organizer, the powerful force of getting things done, the fixer and gentle Edward and Kate with tender hearts and loyal souls, we all wanted to give C the best care...but in different ways.The conflict of what to do in her last hours was something that shook all of us to the core of our souls. I was not there when C slipped away, none of us were, it happened in the early morning. That makes me feel we abandoned her, yet nothing could be further from the truth. Our hearts were grieving but our minds and bodies exhausted. Grief and relief are odd companions. Evie is finding relief being able to plan the funeral. Kate and Edward talk of which flowers were her favorites. I know. They are tulips. 

Materials: acrylic ink, Dylusions spray ink, hand cut foam shapes , red, orange, yellow Sharpie, green gel pen. 

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